The Evil Matchmaking Plans of Ronald Weasley
by TheGreenSharpie
Summary: Ron attempts to matchmake his best friend with his worst enemy. Chaos ensues.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: First attempt at a fanfic under new penname. This story should be good; we already planned it all out…the first part of the first chapter may be a little sucky, but it gets better. Please read & review!

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any other related themes/elements.

**Chapter 1**

Hermione approached the portrait hole to Gryffindor tower happy that she finally had a break from prefect duties. She fully intended to spend that free time away from Draco, who she unfortunately had to work with seeing as he was prefect of Slytherin, and with her best friends Harry and Ron. Little did Hermione know that she would end up spending more time away from her friends than she would have liked.

Hermione said the password with a grin on her face (ouvre) and stepped back allowing the fat lady to swing forward. She stepped in and immediately spotted Harry and Ron, sitting in their usual corner.

She walked over to them and cheerfully said "Hi Harry, hi Ron!" However, the cheerfulness in her greeting was not responded to in the way she expected.

"Eh…Hermione? I don't think this was the best time to come" Harry said nervously.

She looked over at Ron, baffled, and saw that his face was as red as the color of the common room; his expression filled with anger. She started to back away, finally understanding what Harry was saying, but it was too late. Ron exploded.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your godly presence now did you?" Ron said coldly.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione said a little hurt and angry.

"You know EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!" by now, a few Gryffindors from other years were looking their way, and Harry had his face buried in his hands muttering "let it go…it's not a big deal".

"NO HARRY, IT _IS _A BIG DEAL!" Ron screamed, shaking with anger. "HERMIONE **NEVER** HAS ANY TIME FOR US ANY MORE, AND IS ALWAYS BUSY OFF WITH THAT FERRET!"

This angered Hermione. "YOU THINK I _LIKE_ SPENDING TIME WITH DRACO! HE IS AN INSUFFERABLE—"

"Draco, DRACO!" said Ron, slightly insane. "Did you hear that Harry? She-she called him _Draco!_" Ron said spitting out the name like it was disgustingly foul.

"Ron!" Harry hissed embarrassed. "Stop making a scene."

Hermione who was not able to get a word in during this spoke up. "For your information _Ron_ I called him Draco by accident. I had just gotten used to him and decided to act mature and call a truce to no longer call him a ferret."

"You little traitor!" screamed Ron trembling with fury now. "See Harry? I was right!"

"Traitor? TRATOR! You call _me _a traitor? At least _I'm_ not the one who would accuse my best friend of fraternizing with the enemy!" Hermione shrieked, slightly hysterical.

"You just know that I'm right you bushy-haired know-it-all" Ron said smugly.

This seemingly careless remark really hurt Hermione. Normally, if someone insulted her looks or her intelligence it wouldn't affect her but the _way_ he said it and the fact that it was _he_ who had said it really hurt her deeply.

Harry knew that Ron had gone too far, however didn't know what to do in this situation.

"I HATE YOU RONALD WEASLEY!" she screamed.

Hermione stormed out of the Gryffindor common room, tears streaming down her face. She decided to go to the quidditch pitch to try to calm down…it was late and she assumed that no one would be there.

Once she arrived out past the grounds and to the pitch, Hermione made her way to the top bleacher and just sat there, staring into space. She then noticed a small figure zooming around the pitch. Hermione watched in amazement as he/she went into a steep dive, rapidly approaching the ground. Hermione felt fear rising within her stomach. The person was going to crash!

In panic, she stood up and screamed, "WATCH OUT!"

The figure looked up, startled, and in that moment of hesitation crashed to the ground. Hermione quickly ran down to the person, who had managed to get into an upright position while wincing in pain.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently.

The person looked towards Hermione and she gasped as she realized who it was.

"Malfoy!" she asked bemused.

"Granger! What the bloody hell is your problem?" he yelled.

Hermione was confused; this was the second time that day that a guy started yelling at her for no apparent reason.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Malfoy glared. "I mean why the hell were you telling me to watch out?"  
"I was…worried that you'd hit the ground?" she said uncertainly.

"I can take care of myself and was doing just fine until YOU came and ruined my concentration!"

"Excuse me! I was looking out for YOUR safety!" she pointed out.

Draco stared at her like she was crazy. "More like _you_ wanted me to crash and die!"

Hermione snorted. "Yeah, exactly why I told _you_ to watch out!"

"Ha! So you admit it!" Draco exclaimed looking triumphant. "I should have you thrown into Azkaban for attempted murder!"

"WHAT! I admitted that I was trying to prevent you from death! I should have YOU thrown into Azkaban for accusing me of attempted murder, while you KNOW that I was trying to warn you about…the ground!" she finished lamely.

Draco stared at her and stated flat out "liar".

"Ferret" she retorted.

Draco sighed. "You get turned into a ferret _once_ and nobody forgets it."

"Maybe because that ferret was you" Hermione retorted.

Draco smirked. "So I'm famous now?"

Hermione shrugged. "Famous? Yeah…famous for being the only idiot who goes and gets himself turned into a ferret—not like you wouldn't be an idiot anyway."

Draco actually looked offended. "Me? IDIOTIC! Fat chance. If anyone was an idiot it would be _you._"

"Me?" she gave a fake laugh. "Of course that's the reason why **I **get better grades than **you**."

Draco didn't have a response to that. That _was_ true after all. The first time Granger was right.

Hermione smirked a true Malfoy smirk; she was on a roll. "What, nothing to say to that? You must be losing your touch."

"So you admit that I had a touch at one point? How would **you** know?" he asked, with false shock in his voice.

Hermione looked at him with disgust. "I didn't mean it like _that_ you dimwitted pervert."

"Hey, you _know_ you want me." He said, being his cocky self again.

"Yeah right. Keep dreaming ferret."

"Of course I will…but not about you." He said coolly.

"Ugh, I give up." Hermione said agitatedly. She turned around and made her way back to the castle.

"Good riddance!" Draco called at her retreating figure.

* * *

Ron started pacing the common room. He had just witnessed an argument between Hermione and Malfoy, and at first he thought it was a 'lover's spat' but then realized it wasn't when they started calling each other names. _Oh no!_ He thought. _I was wrong—Hermione **doesn't **like Malfoy and I threw away our friendship over nothing! I can't be proven wrong though…I must somehow be proven right…I know! I'll set them up! It's perfect! Except for the fact that I **am** setting up my best friend—ex best friend, with the enemy. But that's not the point…right?_

Ron turned around in the common room to find Harry still sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"Lighten up." Ron said. "I've got a plan…you in?"

Harry looked up. "That depends…what is it?"

"Set Hermione and Draco up, of course!" Ron said cheerfully.

Harry stared at him with his mouth open. "What! Are you insane!"

Ron chuckled. "Funny…I've _always_ been asked that question. I can't imagine why though…"

"But, WHY do you want to set them up?" Harry asked. "I mean, didn't you just tell her off for liking Malfoy?"

"Well…" Ron started, blushing slightly. "I _thought_ she liked him. But then I saw them arguing at the quidditch pitch and I don't think that she likes him. But now I have the problem of being wrong, and I **can't** be proven wrong! It's happened way too many times before!"

"I…I dunno Ron. I mean, I'll have to think it over. I'm just not sure if this is the right thing to do." Harry said.

"Well, mate, I'm going off to bed and think of ideas to set them up. Let me know in the morning about your decision. Good night!" And with that Ron skipped up the stairs, causing him to earn a few looks from the others in the common room.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Ginny screamed from behind Harry. "YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY _NOT_ HELP RON IN THIS CRAZY SCHEME OF HIS!"

Harry looked at her terrified. "Okay Gin, I won't?"

"DON'T YOU USE THAT UNCERTAIN TONE WITH ME YOUNG MAN!"

"Excuse me? I'm **older** than you!" Harry exclaimed.

"That's not the point…" Ginny said, flushing. "The point is that you're not going to help Ron no matter what!"

"And why, may I ask, not?" Harry asked.

"Because…" Ginny said frustrated. "It's not right to mess with your friend's relationships…and," Ginny smirked at what she said next. "I already know that Hermione has her eye on another Slytherin."

"Who, Goyle?" Harry asked confused. "That's just…wrong. But I do now see why she was sticking up for him on the train…"

"No you idiot!" Ginny said hitting Harry over the head with a book. "That's just…ugh. There are no words to describe how wrong that would be."

"Oh…who is it then?"

"I can't say." Ginny said firmly.

"Why not? I _am _her best friend…or was anyway." Harry responded.

"Because Hermione made me **promise **not to tell!" Ginny said.

"Fine then, I guess I'll just have to go help Ron…" Harry said, casually getting up.

"No, wait! No matter what, you can't help Ron! I told you before! Fine, I'll tell you who the Slytherin is, but you can't say a word about it to ANYONE! Especially Ron." Ginny said, exasperated.

"Okay…who is it?" Harry said with an evil glint in his eye.

Ginny bit her lip. "It's…" she moved closer and whispered in his ear, "Blaise."

"Zabini!" Harry exclaimed surprised.

"Shhhh, not so loud!" Ginny hissed, clamping a hand over his mouth.

"Mhmhmhmm."

"What?" Ginny asked confused.

Harry exasperatedly pointed to the hand covering his mouth.

"Oh, right." Ginny said, removing her hand.

"I won't tell." Harry promised. He then got up to go to his room to get some sleep.

"Wait." Ginny said. "We're not done yet."

Harry groaned. "What now?"

"You have to help me get them together!" Ginny said in a matter-of-fact voice. "And don't you dare say no."

"Err…do I have a choice?" Harry asked.

"If I did give you a choice, would you help me?" Ginny asked sweetly.

"…no?" Harry said uncertainly.

"Wrong answer." Ginny said menacingly. "If you don't agree, I will NEVER talk to you again, and I will tell Draco you're gay and want to go out with him."

"I meant yes!" Harry squeaked.

Ginny grinned. "Good answer."

* * *

A/N: Hope that you enjoyed! Like the evil Ginny? What do you think that Ron's gonna do next? Review! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: We updated, woo! Chapter three is done, and is about sixteen pages long, so review and we will update that! PLEASE!

**TheForgottonMailbox**: Our first (and currently only) review! We're glad that you're enjoying the story. Hope that you like chapter 2!

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any other related themes/elements.

**Chapter 2**

Hermione awoke in the prefects' dorm room to sunlight filtering in through the window. She looked at her clock and saw that the time was 6:45.

Lazily she stretched her arms above her head and rolled out of bed. _Lets see what we have to do today…usual morning routine, homework…I'm missing something. Oh yeah, finish planning out the food for the ball; ugh that can wait, don't need to see ferret boy today. _

A sudden bang on the door interrupted her thoughts. "GRANGER! HAVE YOU SEEN MY COMB?" _Spoke too soon, _Hermione thought dryly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and casually glanced at her dresser, seeing a plain black shiny comb which belonged to a certain Slytherin. "No. Why would I steal _your_ comb?"

"TO TAME THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR HAIR!" Draco called back cheerfully.

Hermione snorted. "Like I would even consider using your comb when its probably full of lice" Hermione said, voice filled with disgust. Then Hermione grinned evilly and went to her dresser as a wicked idea came to her mind. She cast a quick spell on the comb cackling quietly to herself and opened the door to her room.

"Oh Draco, I _did_ find it!" she said with exaggerated sweetness.

Draco glared at her for daring to take his precious comb away. How was he supposed to make his hair perfect without his trusty comb? Well, its not like it needed much perfecting anyway. But that wasn't the point. Draco snatched the comb form Hermione's hand and stomped off into the bathroom slamming the door.

Hermione was trying very hard not to laugh. She mentally counted down in her head. _5…4…3…2…1._

"GRANGER! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY COMB!" Draco screamed from the bathroom. He stormed out of it to reveal a Malfoy who had neon green hair.

Getting no response, Malfoy repeated, "GRANGER!"

Hermione was on the floor cackling madly, while trying to complete a sentence. "THOUGHT—YOU'D—LIKE—GREEN—SLYTHERIN—COLOR!" she managed to gasp out.

Draco scowled and stomped back into the bathroom slamming the door fully intending to get the horrific blinding color out of his hair before class started. "Finite Incantatem!"

Seconds later another scream was issued from the bathroom. "GRANGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WHY THE HELL ARE THERE ORANGE POLKA DOTS IN MY HAIR!"

Hermione started laughing again.

"Oops…I guess that I forgot to tell you that any effort to remove the spell will worsen the effects. Sorry!" Hermione gave a cheerful wave at the still closed bathroom door and went into her room in high spirits.

Seeing his attempts were futile, Draco took out his backup comb and started combing his green and orange hair, not even bothering to gel it or hide it. Any attempts at covering his new hair had resulted in disaster (lets not get into details shall we?). He soon emerged from the bathroom to be greeted by the other two seventh year prefects—Lisa Turnip from Ravenclaw and Ernie McMillan from Hufflepuff. They both started laughing hysterically upon seeing Draco's "new do".

"Planning on blinding anyone with those bright colors Malfoy?" Ernie snickered.

Draco scowled once again and stormed off to breakfast. Lisa and Ernie soon followed.

It was soon 7:30 and Hermione emerged from her room after showering and dressing, not being particularly hungry. She decided to read for awhile before classes started. She looked around the common room in search for her bag where her copy of Hogwarts A History was, but it was nowhere to be found.

_That's odd._ Hermione thought. _I am sure I left it here last night before I went to bed…I better go check my room. _

Her room was thoroughly searched but her bag was nowhere to be found. She did however find an old sock that went missing about a month ago, but that's not important. By now Hermione was frantic. It was currently 7:45 and she had fifteen minutes to find her bag, as well as get to potions.

Hermione tried to remember everywhere that she had gone the previous day and then it hit her—the quidditch pitch! When Draco had crashed into the ground, she had dropped her bag and ran to help him. Hermione scowled. It was his entire fault that she forgot her bag and was now going to be late to potions! He deserved worse than green and orange hair!

Hermione raced out of the prefects' room and hurried down the staircase, and in her haste knocked over an unsuspecting victim who went tumbling down the stairs.

"Sorry!" Hermione called over her shoulder, not pausing for a moment to see if they were okay.

She finally reached the bleachers out of breath and began to climb, cursing herself for sitting on the topmost bleacher the night before.

Upon reaching the top, Hermione was relieved to see that her bag had made it safely through the night. She quickly grabbed it and started sprinting down the bleachers not wanting to face Snape's wrath on a Monday morning.

Hermione was about halfway down when she lost her footing and began tumbling down to the ground while letting out a shriek of terror. Mentally cursing the force of gravity, Hermione tried to stop her fall but to no avail. She gave up and was preparing to hit the ground, but was surprised when the blow never came.

Her eyes, which had been shut, slowly opened and Hermione found herself in the arms of a handsome black-haired boy. _Am I in heaven?_ Was the last thought that came to her mind before she passed out.

**

* * *

**Draco opened the door to the potions classroom internally preparing himself for the humiliation that would soon follow. True to his assumption, as soon as he stepped through the door laughter issued. Draco held his head up high and marched to his seat hoping to make it through the lesson with his dignity still intact. 

"Going for a new look Malfoy? I wasn't aware that it was Halloween already." Dean snickered.

Draco made a face at Dean and was about to retort before he was nearly strangled to death by Pansy.

"Draco!" she squealed in excitement. Then she stopped and looked at his hair strangely. "Draco? Just so you know…green and orange went out in the fifties."

Draco looked at her in awe. _Did Pansy **actually** say something semi-intelligent? What is the world coming to!_

"Um, that's great Pansy." Draco said still slightly shocked.

Pansy, upset at not being properly acknowledged, plopped down in the seat next to Draco, much to his discomfort.

Then Professor Snape entered the room, and everyone quieted down. "Today we shall be starting the Veritaserum potion. You will be making this potion over the course of the month because of the complexity of the potion. Partners will be assigned because _some_ of you (here his gaze lingered on Neville) are incapable of doing anything right."

"Well this will be fun" Draco muttered sarcastically.

**

* * *

**The dark-haired stranger stared at the girl passed out in his arms faintly amused. Honestly, he knew that he was handsome but this was a new reaction. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Well the fact that she had just fallen down half the bleachers might have played a part in it. 

He carefully shifted Hermione in his arms so that it was easier to pick her up. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that she was a little pale. _Must have been from the fright of the fall._ It would be a good idea to get her to the hospital wing right away, never mind that they were missing potions. Snape would blow a fuse later but that would be dealt with when the time came. It would probably be a good idea to make sure that she hadn't been injured anyway.

With that thought Hermione was lifted into the handsome boy's arms to be brought to the hospital wing.

* * *

"Um, professor? When will we be finding out who our partners are?" Dean asked stupidly. 

"Well right now of course" Snape snapped. "20 points from Gryffindor for asking a stupid question."

The whole Gryffindor side of the room groaned.

"Let's see…Parkinson and Weasley." Snape started. "Potter and Malfoy. Thomas and Bulstrode. Brown and Goyle. Patil and Crabbe." The list continued on. "And finally, Granger and Zabini…I'm surprised Miss Granger is missing class, where is she?"

Draco was very surprised to notice that Hermione wasn't in the room as he expected her to come and witness his humiliation.

Seeing he was getting no response, Snape said sharply, "Potter, answer the question!"

"I-I-I don't know sir." Harry stammered. He himself was wondering where the duo was; Hermione would _never_ miss such an important class—or any other class for that matter.

"10 points from Gryffindor for an incompetent answer." Snape barked. The Gryffindor side made faces at Snape when his back was turned.

* * *

"GET OUT!" Madame Pomfrey shouted. 

"But-but" he sputtered. "I brought her here!"

The nurse stared at him. "Really, is that the best you can come up with? Seriously. Just because you brought her here does NOT permit you to stay!"

"Please?" he begged giving her the irresistible puppy-eyes.

"I only allow students who are injured or sick to stay. And…YOU ARE _NOT_ IN THOSE CATEGORIES!"

He pouted defeated and turned to go. Then spotting a book on the floor a mischievous idea formed. He casually began walking towards the book and managed to 'slip' on it, 'twisting his ankle'.

The boy, being a wonderful actor, started screaming. "OWWW! MY ANKLE! HELP ME, I'M _DYING_!"

Madame Pomfrey pursed her lips. It was quite ironic that he managed to injure himself right at _this_ moment. She grudgingly got the boy into a bed and threw an ice pack at him, hitting him in the head. The boy returned the favor with a charming smile while he 'accidentally' held out his other leg for the nurse to trip over.

Completely fed up, Madame Pomfrey went into her office and slammed the door.

Because of the loud sound, Hermione slowly woke up and looked around. "Where am I?" Her eyes then landed on the person in the next bed; her savior. She gasped as she realized who it was.

It was…

* * *

A/N: CLIFFY! Woot! 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well, to all who reviewed, please review this chapter as well because the next chapter is currently twenty pages, and will be growing longer!

**Duckie Writes: **Glad you liked the evil Ginny.

**Jessica Arbuckle: **Here's 16 pages; 20 pages or more for the next chapter if you review!

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any other related themes/elements.

**-- -- -- **

**Chapter 3**

It was…Goyle!

That was what Hermione had thought at first anyway. Her vision, which had earlier became blurry due to her fall, now improved and she realized who her savior **really** was. It was none other than Blaise Zabini!

**-- -- --**

Harry and Ron exited potions and made their way down the hallway.

"So do _you_ know where Hermione is?" Harry asked.

Ron shook his head. "I thought you would've known, mate."

"Why would I? You saw me back there with Snape…I wouldn't_ dare_ lie to him." Harry said.

"Well, I dunno…I thought she might've been off somewhere and you knew…and you didn't want to rat her out." Ron replied.

"Why the sudden change of heart anyway?" Harry asked. "I thought you hated her and her quote 'oh-so-godly presence' right?"

"Well, that was before I knew the truth about her and Malfoy…about that, are you in on the plan?" Ron asked, changing the topic.

"No, and I don't think you should do it either…unless you want to face the wrath of your sister." Harry said, his eyes flashing with terror as he remembered their 'frightful' encounter the previous night.

Just then, Harry was tapped lightly on the shoulder. Harry turned around and looked. He was surprised to find a distraught-looking Draco. Though the distraught-ness could've been because of his hair, which was still neon green and orange…

"Yes Malfoy?" Harry asked, irritated.

"I was uh wondering…do you know where Hermione is?" Draco asked.

"SEE! THEY'RE _BOTH_ ON FIRST-NAME BASIS WITH EACH OTHER!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry shrugged but inwardly smiled, knowing that Ron was already getting farther away from accomplishing his goal of matchmaking. Though there was the problem of Malfoy actually _caring_ where Hermione was.

"No, Malfoy…why do _you_ care anyway?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Well, she did a rather rude trick this morning." Draco pointed to his hair. "And I was wondering why she wasn't here to watch me be humiliated." Draco was inwardly scowling. _Why am I telling him all this? I shouldn't care about where Hermione—**Granger** is anyway._

Harry burst out laughing as he re-realized Draco's hair situation.

**-- -- --**

Hermione rubbed her eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving her.

"Blaise!" Hermione asked.

"The one and only." Blaise said nonchalantly.

"So…why are you here?" Hermione asked casually, trying to strike a conversation.

"I twisted my ankle." Blaise said.

"How?" she asked, wondering if it was she who had caused his injury.

"I—uh—tripped over a book…I almost _died_! But then again, that was probably nothing compared to your experience, no?"

"Well…yeah." Hermione said, embarrassed. "I tripped down the bleachers." She blushed and realized how pathetic her statement sounded.

"I know, I was the one who caught you!" Blaise said matter-of-factly.

"Oh…well, thanks." Hermione said.

Just then, Madame Pomfrey bustled into the room. "Out you two, now!"

Hermione and Blaise hurried and got up, not wanting to anger the lady who seemed to be going on a rampage.

They quickly departed the infirmary and made their way to transfiguration.

**-- -- --**

Hermione stared off into space, not paying attention in class for once in her life. _He is sooo sweet! I mean, he has a good sense of humor, and can make you laugh even when you're in pain. And it was sooo embarrassing that it was **he** who saved me. I mean, why couldn't it have been Goyle! Wait, what am I thinking…why the hell would I want it to be Goyle! I mean, he'd probably catch me and then drop me…and not have brains to pick me up. God, now thinking about it, I think I **am** happy that it was Blaise. If it was Draco, he'd probably catch me and then assist in killing me, painfully and slowly. _

-- -- --

Meanwhile, Ron started scribbling furiously on his parchment, making a complex diagram. However the diagram had nothing to do with transfiguration, but rather his plot of matchmaking. _Now, what can I do to get Hermione and Draco together! I know! I could push her into a lake and hope that Draco saves her…but then again, there always is the possibility that Draco won't save her and Hermione will drown. Hmm…I don't want to put her into a situation that could cause her death…yet. Death will be a last resort. I know! I can somehow manage to get her stuck on the goal post! She can't die from being there…I mean it's not like she can fall or anything. It's a **perfect** idea! Although, it's too windy today…the wind might push her off! Of course, Draco would then want to avenge the fallen girl and he'll kill the wind. He'll be some kind of hero; it's brilliant! Oh wait, he wouldn't be with Hermione then though…she'd be dead. _

**-- -- --**

Harry was just sitting there, trying to pay attention.

**-- -- --**

_She'd look so much better if she was wearing blue; it would bring out the blue in her hazel-blue eyes…_Draco thought staring at professor McGonagall. (A/N: Draco is **NOT** falling for his teacher…that'd be wrong. He's just being his normal self and thinking about fashion. But, he's not gay either xD)

**-- -- --**

_I'm tired…need coffee. Lots of coffee. Coffee is good. Coffee heals the ankle which needs no healing. Coffee coffee coffee coffe COFFEE! _Blaise was really in the mood for coffee.

**-- -- --**

The bell rang and people filed out of the classroom wanting to go to lunch.

Hermione decided to stop by her dorm first to drop of her bag; no need for her to lose it again.

As she was leaving she ran into Malfoy who, by the way, still had green and orange hair.

"You're in for it Granger." Malfoy said in a threatening tone.

"Oh I'm so scared." Hermione said sarcastically.

"Oh you should be Granger, you should be. No one embarrasses a Malfoy and gets away with it." Draco spat walking off.

"Then I'll be the first won't I?" Hermione muttered to herself staring at his retreating back.

**-- -- -- **

Ginny was walking to the Great Hall for lunch, searching for a certain scar-headed boy, when she got ambushed by a bushy-haired Gryffindor.

"Ginny, Ginny, Ginny, GINNY, _GINNY_!" Hermione squealed.

"Hermione, stop squealing, you're hurting my ears!" Ginny squealed, covering her ears.

"Don't be a hypocrite Gin. Anyway, you won't **believe** what happened today!"

"What?" Ginny asked, now interested.

"Well, I had forgotten my bag on the bleachers last night when Malfoy crashed into the ground and I went to see if he was alright—"

"What! How did Malfoy crash into the ground, and **why on earth** would you see if he was alright!" Ginny asked, now frantic that Ron was currently succeeding in his matchmaking plans.

"Well if you must know, I was on the bleachers at the quiditch pitch yesterday, and then someone crashed into the ground, but I didn't realize it was Malfoy, so I went down and helped him." She said matter-of-factly.

"Oh…so that is why you were _squealing_?"

"No, I was going to tell you why until I was RUDELY interrupted…anyway, so I went down to the bleachers to get my bag, and me, being the smart witch I am, left it on the top bleacher. Anyways, I was in a rush to get to potions in time, because I was going to be late since I only noticed the absence of my bag minutes before class, so I started sprinting down the bleachers. Of course, being the klutz I am, it didn't work out to well. I tripped and went flying through the air, about to hit the ground when—"

"OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY! WE MUST TAKE YOU TO MADAME POMFREY AT ONCE!" Ginny screamed, going crazy.

"Chill Ginny, been there, done that. Anyway—"

"So _that's_ what you were squealing about!" Ginny asked.

"NO GINNY! Just let me finish my story and **stop interrupting**!" Hermione said breathlessly.

"Anyway, my story continues when I was about to hit the ground. My eyes automatically shut because of…panic, I guess, and I was waiting to hit the ground but then someone caught me, and…guess who it was!" Hermione said giddily.

"Malfoy?" Ginny asked wearily.

"No, HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING!"

Ginny resisted the temptation to say no, and let Hermione finish her story.

"It was…BLAISE!" Hermione said dreamily.

Ginny's jaw dropped open. "Really!"

"Yes!" Hermione squealed, yet again. "And then…I passed out!"

"…"

"No, see, that's not the best part." Hermione exclaimed.

"Really? I would've never guessed…"

"Yeah…" Hermione said, not noticing the sarcasm in the red-head's voice. "he actually CARRIED me up to the hospital wing. Can you believe it!"

"No, I can't…" Ginny said.

"Well, you **have** to believe me Gin! I wouldn't lie about something like _this_!"

"Of course you wouldn't, you're too gullible to lie…" Ginny muttered.

"What?" Hermione asked, clearly oblivious to her obliviousness.

"Nothing…nothing at all." Ginny said.

The two girls made their way to the Great Hall for some lunch.

**-- -- --**

Blaise looked around the Great Hall, twitching in his seat. He had only one thought: coffee. He **needed** his coffee. The fact that the head girl, Hannah Abbot, sitting next to him slowly drinking her coffee did not help in the slightest way.

As his scanning continued, he spotted a cup of coffee at the staff table. His face lit up into a happy smile as he realized no one was drinking it, since every other staff member already had their own cup. Blaise got up and casually left the heads table, going towards the staff table.

**-- -- --**

Ron sat at the Gryffindor table, bored out of his mind. Parvati and Lavender were sitting at the table chatting animatedly about the hotties in the school. This week, the "Who's hot and who's not" list was as followed; Draco Malfoy ranking in the top three hotties, again, while Gregory Goyle was in the lowest three. Ron ranked somewhere in the top ten, but then realized he did NOT want to listen to their girl talk.

Seeing as there was no one else at the Gryffindor table who Ron wanted to talk to, he casually walked up to the staff table, deciding to talk to Hagrid.

Ron reached the table and leaned on it while starting up a conversation with Hagrid.

As he was about to say something, Ron heard someone say, "Excuse me?"

Ron turned around, his arm knocking over a cup of coffee. He didn't even realize it until the person who said "excuse me" started screaming.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Blaise, the person who had spoken to Ron, screamed. "THE COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HOW _COULD_ YOU! I NEEDED THAT COFFEE!"

"…"

"ARE YOU INSANE, LAD!" Blaise screamed at Ron, speaking with a fake Irish accent, while shaking Ron by the shoulders.

"…"

Blaise could no longer take it. "AHH!"

Ron just stared. "Uh…what did **I** do?"

Blaise went back onto his psychopath rage. "What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO! **YOU KNOCKED OVER MY COFFEE!**"

"Err…sorry?" Ron asked, uncertainly.

Blaise quickly ran out of the Great Hall, on the verge of tears, leaving everybody staring. However, this little 'outburst' did not affect Blaise's social standing; his popularity was still intact because people admired him for being able to express his emotions so freely. This was ironic because at the same time, Malfoy was admired on how well he could mask his feelings.

**-- -- -- **

Lunch soon ended and the seventh year Slytherins and Gryffindors went to their next class, charms.

Their was mild conversations between the students before the tiny Professor Flitwick entered the room.

"Class, I have exciting news! I am going to be assigning you partners tomorrow for a **very **interesting assignment! I already have the list made, so I will inform you tomorrow about who you are paired with."

Professor Flitwick continued talking about the project, but Harry wasn't paying attention.

_Now is the perfect chance to get Hermione and Blaise together! Not only is she paired up with him for potions, but if I can get my hands on the list, I can probably get them paired up for this charms project as well! Ginny will be so proud…_

Meanwhile, Ron was having the exact same thoughts except with Hermione and Draco.

_I must get my hands on that list! Hermione **needs** to be doing this project with Malfoy. This will be the perfect opportunity for them to interact with each other! If only they were paired up for the potions project too…that would've been **prefect**. Gosh Snape is such a traitor!_

The bell rang and the class exited the room, on the way up to their dorms to get ready for dinner.

**-- -- --**

Hermione headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. She entered and sat at the table with the other prefects. As she helped herself to some food, her gaze wandered over to the Slytherin table. She noticed that Malfoy was grinning like a madman…or a lapdog. It was unnerving. She shrugged her shoulders. _It's probably nothing…I mean it's **Malfoy**; he's probably is grinning excessively because "dear daddy" got him into Death Eater initiation or some crap like that…I'm sure **Blaise **would never become a Death Eater. _

Hermione picked up her fork and was about to stab the chicken, which was innocently lying on her plate, before the fork suddenly levitated into the air, and clattered to the floor. Hermione thought nothing of it, thinking that it was probably a spell that went astray by some dumb first year.

She pushed back her chair and reached down to grab the fork. The fork, however, didn't want to stay in the same place, and went sliding across the room's floor to the Slytherin table. _Wow, odd fork_. Hermione was now down on all fours, crawling towards the fork, thinking nothing of everyone in the Great Hall staring at her. As she made her way over towards the metal utensil, a hand went down and went up with the fork in it; Hermione now lost her treasure. She blinked several times, still not comprehending that the fork was no longer there, and looked up to see the lapdog—Malfoy laughing his head off.

"Looking for this, Mudblood?" he said maliciously, waving the fork above her head.

Hermione nodded, still confused by the situation.

"Well, GO FETCH!" he said, throwing the fork across the room.

Hermione scowled, clearly annoyed that there would be more work for the House Elves because they would have to pick up her fork, and made her way over to the said object.

She finally got to the fork, which was now resting against a cobweb, and had her mindset on finishing her dinner. As she made her way back to her table, she heard a sudden uproar of laughter, erupting from every person in the Great Hall.

Hermione turned around confusedly. _What are they laughing at?_

Draco was on the floor, howling with laughter and rolling over.

She looked at him with an odd expression. _He's probably the cause of all this laughter…but what are they laughing about?_

"Look down, Mudblood!" Pansy screamed between fits of laughter.

Hermione cautiously looked down, slightly afraid of the sight that would meet her eyes.

Hermione shrieked as she realized the reason for the laughter.

**FIN**

A/N: Lol, just kidding. We're not _that_ cruel…wait a minute…

**-- -- --**

Hermione shrieked as she realized the reason for the laughter. _My skirt! It-it's **gone!**_Her eyes welled up with tears and she ran out of the Great Hall, completely humiliated. As she was leaving, she heard Theodore Nott call out, "Didn't know you were such a slut, Mudblood!"

**-- -- --**

Draco watched the brunette go with satisfaction. His goal of humiliation was complete. He turned around, fully intent on finishing his dinner, when he caught a glimpse of the expression on Blaise's face—he looked ready to kill. Okay, well not _kill_…but close to it.

Draco looked confused. "What's wrong with you Blaise?"

Blaise stared at him with a stony expression and just got up to leave.

Draco watched his retreating figure disappear out of the Great Hall, and shrugged. He then stabbed his chicken with his knife, knowing from experience that forks could do very _odd_ things these days.

**-- -- -- **

Blaise walked down the hallway in search of Hermione. While he turned the corner and went down the hallway that leads to the Charms classroom, he heard muffled sobs coming from the other direction. He turned around and found Hermione sitting in a little corner with her back to the wall.

He approached her hesitantly. "Hermione?"

Hermione looked up at the sound of his voice but didn't answer.

He tried again. "Are you okay?"

Then a muffled voice answered, "Do I look okay?"

_Well there was some progress. _Blaise thought. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Is _that_ one?" Hermione replied.

"Wait, you're confusing me now…are you asking me?"

"Are you trying to distract me? Because…it's not working." Hermione said.

"No, not at all. Hell, the thought to distract you didn't even cross my mind!" He laughed nervously.

Hermione stared.

"I'm sorry…what Draco did back there…was…wrong." Blaise started. He wasn't really used to comforting girls, so was having some trouble.

Hermione didn't answer.

Blaise took a deep breath. "If it makes you feel any better, Draco is an idiot who doesn't think before he acts."

Then Hermione spoke. "But I did change his hair, rather drastically might I add."

Blaise didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry Hermione."

"And why are you sorry? I mean, _you_ didn't do anything! Hell, you're even acting like a friend. I don't even have _those_ anymore." She said darkly. "You're the only one who seems to care."

"That's not true." Blaise said, now sitting beside her on the cold, stone floor.

"Yes it _is_! It was just last night that Ron ended our friendship. He accused me of liking Draco." Hermione chuckled. "As if. But I think I proved his point. I mean, after our argument, I was worried about Malfoy."

Blaise gave her a curious look which she took as a signal to continue.

"I was at the quidditch pitch, trying to blow off some steam, when I saw someone flying relatively close to the ground. I didn't know it was Malfoy at the time, of course, but I warned the person to watch out."

Blaise swung his arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Aw Hermione, you were just being a good person…it's not like you actually **care **about Malfoy." He wanted to further comment saying what losers her friends were to have left her like that, but decided not to incase Hermione would get upset or defensive.

Hermione laughed. "Oh, _that_ would be the day!"

Blaise smiled and laughed with her. "If you got together with Malfoy, I'd…I'd get together with the Head Girl!" He shuddered at this.

"Thanks Blaise; you really know how to cheer someone up." She said, still laughing.

**-- -- --**

Pansy watched in disgust. _My Blaise…with the Mudblood? What the hell is wrong with him? Why the hell did he follow her out of the Great Hall; she doesn't deserve any of the attention she is getting from the Slytherins! And **why** is my Blaise flirting with her? The Mudblood will pay…I'll get revenge on her for sure!_

**-- -- --**

Malfoy sat in the prefects' room, lounging on the sofa. He twirled his wand around and smirked to himself. _I showed that Mudblood. She had no idea who she was dealing with!_

Just then the portrait opened and Draco looked up. He saw a very happy looking Hermione, talking to a cheerful Blaise. Draco was very confused. _What is going on?_

Hermione looked into the common room, expecting to find it empty, but narrowed her eyes when she caught sight of a certain blond.

Blaise noticed her change in expression and followed her gaze to see a very confused Malfoy sitting on the couch, his eyes fixated on them. Before he realized what she was doing, Hermione ran into her room and slammed the door behind her. He sighed. _I better get this over with._

"Malfoy…" Blaise started.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Draco asked incredulously.

Blaise blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Why the fuck are you hanging around that whore?" Draco asked in a cold tone.

Blaise's eyes narrowed. "Firstly, she is no whore."

Draco eyed Blaise. _What is he playing at?_ "Of course she is. You saw what happened in the Great Hall today; her skirt disappeared. She probably had something to do with it."

"Oh, shut it Malfoy. Everyone knows that you did it." Blaise spat.

"Of course, I may have had _something_ to do with it." Draco said cheekily.

"I came to talk to you about just that." Blaise said. _This is going to be harder than I thought…when did my friend turn into such an ass?_

"What's there to talk about? She humiliated me, I humiliate her. It's as simple as that." Draco said.

Blaise sighed and sat down next to Draco. "You really hurt her."

"So? The bitch deserved it! After all she put me through, you still take _her_ side? I thought you were my friend!" Draco said.

"You put her through much more than she put you through!" Blaise started, his temper rising. "YOU humiliated HER in front of the Great Hall, whereas she just charmed your hair to look different…you could've worn a hat to cover it up, but she had nothing to cover herself up with. You were still in the common room in front of Lisa, Ernie, and Hermione, whereas Hermione was embarrassed in front of the whole school!"

Draco thought about it for a minute. "So?"

"SO? That's _all_ you can say? You owe her an apology!" Blaise said, reprimanding.

"Not going to happen." Draco declared, picking up a book that was lying on the table and turning to a page.

"It damn well is going to happen!" Blaise said, throwing Draco's book back on the table.

Draco shook his head. "In your dreams."

"I never knew that you were such a prat, Malfoy." Blaise said disgustedly.

This affected Draco's ego. "I'm no prat!" Draco whined.

Blaise crossed his arms. "Are you going to apologize?"

"Yes mother." Draco said in a childish tone.

"Good boy; I'll buy you a present after you do it." Blaise said humorously.

"Oh, really! Can I have a pony?" Draco said with excitement.

Blaise stared. "Don't push it."

**-- -- --**

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Ginny sat in a corner, quietly discussing their next move.

"You _have _to get a hold of the charms list!" Ginny urged.

"Me? Why?" Harry asked, confused.

"Because, moron, we have to make sure Hermione is paired up with Blaise! Duh." Ginny said.

"Really?" Harry asked, fully shocked. "I never thought about it like _that_ before!"

"How thick can you get?" Ginny muttered.

"What?" Harry asked, apparently hearing her. "Who's thick?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you have to change the list…tonight. Make sure that she is paired up with Blaise? Got it?"

Harry nodded obediently.

Ginny smiled. "Okay, good. I'm off to bed…make sure you get it done." She got up and made her way to the stairs.

Harry looked thoughtful. "Wait!"

Ginny turned. "What?"

"Err…you expect me to go alone?" Harry asked, semi-scared.

Ginny slapped her head, sensing the fear in his voice. "Harry, you don't even fear Tom, and you can take on a bunch of dementors single-handedly. And you're scared of a little visit to the Charms room?"

Harry shuddered. "Filch is worse than Voldemort."

Ginny's jaw dropped open. _He is a hopeless case._ "Just…take your invisibility cloak, and the map; you'll be _fine_!"

"Are you sure?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Harry. Now the sooner you get it done, the sooner you can sleep, and the sooner you get to wake up and have food. Got it?"

Harry nodded, clearly happy at the thought of food. "Good night Ginny."

"Good night Harry."

**-- -- --**

Unbeknownst to the duo, their plans were known to someone else.

_Harry's a **traitor!** _Ron thought. _After all that we've been through, he decides to go and help my sister set up Hermione with Blaise! Unbelievable! There's only one thing to do now…beat him at his own game. I must get a hold of that list before Harry does, and make sure that Hermione is paired up with Draco. But how…Harry's cloak and map will be in use…I guess I can borrow Dean's cloak. But no, Dean would want to know why. I guess there's only one thing to do…steal Harry's invisibility cloak! _

Ron silently made his way up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. He rummaged through Harry's trunk, until he found a silky cloak. _Eureka!_

He draped the cloak over himself, and silently made his way to the door that lead to the staircase. Just as he was going to open the door, however, the door opened and sent him flying across the floor. The cloak fell off of him and was spread across the floor next to him. Ron didn't see who the person who opened the door was, however, and was only thinking one thing. _Please don't be Harry…please don't be Harry. _

When he did see who it was, however, he breathed out a sigh of relief. It was Seamus Finnigan with Parvati Patil clutching to his arm, as though her life depended on it. She was giggling like crazy—as always, and the pair didn't even notice Ron on the floor.

As soon as they neared to him, Ron took some action. He re-draped the cloak over himself, and ran out of the room, luckily not getting knocked out by a door again.

**-- -- --**

Harry walked up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, fully intent on getting his things to start his mission so that he wouldn't be killed by Ginny anytime soon. However, when he opened the door to the dormitory, Harry was met with slightly disturbing noises coming from Seamus's bed. Slightly freaked out, he grabbed the Marauders Map, which was lying on the table, and was about to get his invisibility cloak when he realized that his trunk was open and it was gone. _Ron. He must have overheard Ginny and I talking in the common room. I've got to get to the classroom before him!_

Harry checked the map and it confirmed his suspicions; Ron was on his way to the classroom. _At least that oaf didn't think about stealing the map! Filch is headed right in his direction! Perfect. _To his utter dismay, however, as he watched the map, he saw Filch turn the corner and head for the library, where an unsuspecting Lisa Turpin was hidden.

Harry shook his head. _Kids these days…always up to no good; sneaking out after dark—what will become of the world?_

Harry followed the map to a spot ten feet ahead of Ron. He quickly did the deed of changing the list, and ran out of the classroom, trying not to be seen. As Harry lurked in the shadows, he no longer could see the map, but was tackled from behind.

"HARRY! WHAT ARE YOU _DOING!_ YOU ARE RUINING ALL OF HERMIONE'S CHANCES WITH DRACO! I AM SORRY TO DO THIS, BUT I MUST GET RID OF YOU AT ONCE." Ron bellowed.

Harry was shocked. Though he knew that his friend was capable of a lot, he didn't think Ron'd ever _do_ something to him!

Just as these thoughts escaped his mind, Harry felt himself being dragged into a closet.

"BYE-BYE, HARRY POTTER!" Ron said, cackling insanely. "YOU'LL NEVER SEE DAYLIGHT AGAIN!" And with that, Ron locked the door to the closet.

However, Harry soon saw the flaw in Ron's plan—Harry had the map and could easily find a way out. He checked the map, and found that he was right…the closet was one of the secret passageways to Hogsmede. Harry removed a brick from the closet wall, and instantly the wall changed into a tunnel. Harry followed the tunnel after putting the map away in his robes. He knew no one would be up at this hour at Hogsmede anyway, and decided it would be best if he had his hands free.

Following the tunnel, Harry finally got out of it and found himself in the basement of Quality Quidditch Supplies, his favorite quidditch store. _Wow, this is so lucky! They have the new Firebolt down here! Of course, I'll need a way to get back to Hogwarts…I'm sure they won't notice if one goes missing. _

Harry slyly took one of the new broomsticks and managed to get out of the shop. Once outside on the dark streets of Hogsmede, Harry mounted himself on the broom. As he was soaring through the air on the new broom, Harry felt a rush of excitement. _This is my lucky day…I got a new broom and changed the list! Ginny's not going to kill me and we'll beat Slytherin in the coming matches for sure! _

Harry finally reached the Hogwarts grounds and locked the broom away in the locker rooms. As he made his way up to the entrance to the castle, he whistled joyfully. He didn't even think to take out the map, and opened the door to meet a very angry looking Filch.

Harry gulped.

"Detention, Potter. Tomorrow with Professor Snape at eight o'clock." Filch said in a menacing tone.

Harry scowled. _I'm going to **kill** Ginny!_

**-- -- --**

Meanwhile, Ron was skipping joyfully to the Charms classroom. _I'm gonna change the list, I'm gonna change the list._ He chanted in his mind. He went into the Charms room and changed the list which Harry had already changed, and quickly made his way back into the corridor. When all things were going well for this Weasley, however, he saw a shadow and panicked. _FILCH!_

Ron raced inside the nearest broom closet and shut the door behind him. After a few minutes of hearing the sound of the footsteps of the person die, Ron tried to push open the door. But it was locked. Ron, in panic, screamed bloody murder.

Just then, the door opened from the outside and Ron was relieved, until he found himself face to face with Snape.

Snape gave him a cold stare and merely said, "Detention with me tomorrow, Weasley, at eight o'clock."

**-- -- --**

A/N: Our longest chapter so far! Hope you enjoyed. Please review!


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